


Can I Be Close To You?

by kirschhhstein



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschhhstein/pseuds/kirschhhstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hanji did tell us it'd be cold today."</p><p>"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be THIS cold.  I'm freezing my balls off here."  Jean replied between chattering teeth.  It really was stupid of him to turn up without a jacket.  Or at least a sweatshirt.  But in his defense, a warm hoodie totally would've thrown off his whole 'hot hipster' look and he really wanted to emphasise the 'hot' in his present company.  That, and he honestly didn't think it'd be that cold.</p><p>** based on 'hoodies' prompt for jearmin week iii **</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Be Close To You?

 "Hanji did tell us it'd be cold today."

"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be THIS cold.  I'm freezing my balls off here."  Jean replied between chattering teeth.  It really was stupid of him to turn up without a jacket.  Or at least a sweatshirt.  But in his defense, a warm hoodie totally would've thrown off his whole 'hot hipster' look and he really wanted to emphasise the  _'hot'_ in his present company.  That, and he honestly didn't think it'd be that cold.

Armin, of course, was ridiculously overdressed.  A grey bobbled hat pulled low over his ears, impractical woolen gloves encasing his fingers, and Jean could only guess how many cardigans he wore underneath his coat.

 _Cute._ He thought, moodily kicking his heel at the ground because it annoyed him that he couldn't say so out loud.  Just because he had a disgustingly huge crush on the other boy didn't mean he was going to do anything about it.  And he certainly wasn't going to admit it on a dumb school trip to the zoo while their classmates run around the animal exhibits like idiots.  And Jean was pretty sure that penguin in the tank had been staring at him with judgement in his eyes since they'd arrived.

Despite the overwhelming rush of affection and belly butterflies he felt whenever he saw the other boy, Jean rarely made the attempt to speak with him.  It wasn't that he couldn't think of anything to say, or that Armin was always in the company of his protective childhood friends (though they were certainly a contributing factor) - but rather Jean managed to talk himself out of doing anything out of sheer conviction that Armin would be uncomfortable with the attention.

_Of course he'd be too polite to say anything.  But I know how distressed he gets when Eren and I raise our voices at each other.  I bet he doesn't associate me as anything other than the guy that keeps picking a fight with his best friend.  And he  doesn't know that half the reason I do that is for some twisted way I might show off in front of him.  But somehow Eren comes off looking a lot better than I do and I embarrass myself more often than not._

_Wow, I can't believe I just admitted that to myself.  What a loser._

"Wait, I might have something you can use."

Jean hopped from foot to foot to heat himself up, rubbing his hands together and breathing into them.  Not exactly the most dignified of movements, but it really was cold.  He stuck his hands under his arms as he watched Armin shrug off his enormous backpack (straps on both shoulders, the bag as far up his back as it could be, of course) and rummage around its contents.  Well, rather he stared at the stray eyelash on the pink glow of Armin's cheek and wondered if he could work up the courage to brush it away.

"...them oversized anyway, so it should fit you okay."

Jean was forced into listening again and Armin yanked out a red cosy-looking hoodie with a flourish and held it out to him.

"What're you carrying around an extra hoodie for?"

"Emergencies."  Armin shrugged, like he didn't say something odd.  "In case I lose mine, or Eren does the same thing you've done and forgets his own."

Jean, who had just reached out to take the garment, withdraw his hand from the air and shoved it moodily in his trouser pocket.  He didn't want anything from Armin that was intended for Eren, or anyone else for that matter.

"Don't be so proud."  Armin frowned, clearly not recognising the real reason behind Jean's reluctance.  "You don't need to let yourself catch a cold just because you're too stubborn to admit you came unprepared.  Or are you too vain?"

"It's not... I just don't need it."

He gave a sigh and brought the hoodie up to inspect it himself.  "Some boys can just be _so_... It's not like I have germs or anything."  He mumbled, and Jean wasn't sure if he realised he was saying this aloud.  "Though I haven't washed it since I last wore it, so I suppose... But still, it's perfectly clean and I smell okay I think -"

"I changed my mind."  The words slipped out and Jean snatched the hoodie before Armin could so much as blink in surprise.

He did look momentarily taken aback before his expression relaxed into a small smile that made Jean's stomach go  _whoosh_.  "Okay.  You can return it whenever."

"Right."  Jean nodded a little too vigorously for it to seem casual before pulling the hoodie over his head and holding out his hands in a "Well?" gesture for Armin's appraisal.

The hoodie was a little snug and short on the sleeves - and stark red is so not Jean's colour - but the extra layer was a welcome warmth along with the heavy scent of apple shampoo mixed with clean and  _boy_ \- well, that was the reason Jean had grabbed the garment in the first place.

"Yep, that's... You're good."  Armin murmured with a nod before reaching up to pull his hat down further.

 

*

 

He wondered if Armin could tell that he was lying when he told him the reason he hadn't brought it to school today was that he wanted to wash it first.  He wondered if Armin could tell that Jean had worn the hoodie all day and returned home wearing it and didn't take it off until he went to bed.  And that was only because he'd been snoozing with the neck of the hoodie pulled over his nose, inhaling the scent of Armin until his sleepy thoughts drifted into a more perverse direction leading to him immediately ripping off the garment and draping it over the back of his computer chair and out of reach.

He refused to let himself sink that low; to taint Armin's kindhearted gesture with his own depraved urges.  Instead he fantasised about Armin wearing  _his_ hoodie, smelling Jean's scent and blushing from head to toe.

_It's so freaking gross how happy that'd make me._

However Armin didn't seem to give any indication that he was suspicious of Jean at all.

"You don't need to worry about washing it."  Armin gave a light laugh  _(oh man, it sounds so nice I'm gonna die)_ , before shrugging.  "Like I said, return it whenever."

Jean promised he would, but then he didn't.

"Oh, it was still damp this morning so it's drying on the radiator at home..."

"Oh, uh,  _shit_ I can't believe I forgot.  Sorry, Armin I'll get it to you tomorrow for sure..."

"I'll hold you to that."  Armin said with a smile the fourth morning before biology after their trip.  Then he held out an hand as Jean moved towards the classroom door, his eyes crinkling in concern.  "Are you okay?  You seem kind of... jittery."

Jean blustered his way through a chorus of "I'm fine"s before insistently assuring Armin that his hoodie would be delivered first thing tomorrow, trying very hard not to think about the warmth of Armin's fingertips on his arm.

 

*

 

He stared down at the hoodie stuffed in his bag.  It didn't even smell like Armin anymore, Jean had worn it so often that his own dull and (undetectable to himself) scent had now smothered it.  He had no reason now to keep it.

_Not that I had a valid reason to begin with._

He zipped his bag and slung it over his shoulder, adamant that he would return the hoodie today and end this shameful charade once and for all.

Jean made it to the classroom entrance five minutes before the bell was due to ring, as he had every morning since the school trip.  No one was around yet, and that was exactly the reason Jean had arrived early - Armin was usually the first to turn up for class.

And right on schedule, Armin appeared at the end of the corridor less than a minute later.  When he spotted Jean, the curve of his lips hinted at the beginnings of a smile and he seemed to pick up his pace a little, causing a familiar hard thump of Jean's heart against his ribcage.

Armin had turned up without any form of outdoor clothing - dressed lightly in a shirt and cardigan and shaking the soft flakes of snow from his hair.  He was clearly under the impression that he'd be getting back his hoodie first thing as Jean had promised.

"Morning!"  Armin beamed as he approached, looking a little flushed and out of breath.  Jean had to hold his breath as he was suddenly hit with the now familiar scent of apple shampoo.

"Uh... yeah."  Jean felt his face grow hot as Armin smiled up at him.  It was as though Armin was drinking in every detail of him and it made Jean nervous.  He knew what Armin was like; a few quick observations and he had it figured it out.  Was Jean's infatuation obvious to him?  Maybe he'd already realised that Jean was crushing so pathetically hard on him and holding his hoodie hostage as an excuse to talk to him but was too kind and sweet and perfect to confront or reject him.

_And what happens when I give him back his hoodie?  He'll have no reason to talk to me once I return it.  Maybe I could still come to class early and we'd have these few minutes in the corridor before biology starts.  Oh god, but what if that weirds him out?  Won't I come across like some sort of stalker?  Oh my god, how long have I been staring at him without saying anything?!_

"Good morning, Armin!"  Jean blurted out a little louder than necessary after jolting back to reality.  Armin looked similarly startled, taking a quick step back before tugging at the shoulder straps of his backpack and glancing at the ground.  "So, um... My hoodie?"

"It's..."

_Oh god, he looks freaked.  Why the hell did I practically yell at him?  Quick, just give him the damn hoodie and spare him anymore awkwardness._

"It's still at home."

_Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy._

If it was possible for him to suffocate under the weight of the fabric in his bag, his own guilt and Armin's mixed look of surprise and confusion he would have.  "Oh, that's... that's fine."  Armin's eyes dropped to the bag bulging at Jean's side before glancing away.  "I... guess it's my own fault for coming to school like it's spring.  How ironic is that?"  He gave a quiet laugh to himself, and Jean wanted to die at the barely concealed embarrassment on his face.

"Kinda ironic, yeah... Uh, I'm really sorry."

Panicked to see a forlorn Armin start to turn away without another word, Jean quietly groaned out loud at his own stupidity and began shrugging off his bag and own black hoodie.  He only had on a tshirt underneath because he still hadn't any common sense, but his own comfort wasn't important when Armin was suffering because of his own shameful secret.

"Jean, wait -"  Armin frantically wove his hands so cutely Jean had to look away as he held out the hoodie.  "That's not necessary -"

"It is because I'm a jerk and it's bloody freezing in that classroom.  Put it on before I pull it over your head for you."

Armin hesitated, nibbling his lower lip before giving a sigh and taking the hoodie.  He pulled it on, tugging it down over his hips before smoothing his tangled hair.  Jean couldn't help himself from reaching over and messing it up again, pretending his heart didn't jump at the sensation of soft locks sliding through his fingers.

The shorter boy gave a shy smile and opened his mouth to speak, but the overhead bell rang out and silenced anything he might've said.

Jean then spent the remainder of the morning fighting the incredible urge to look over at Armin at the opposite side of the classroom.  The sleeves of the hoodie slid past his wrists, and he clutched the edges of them with his fingertips when he didn't need to write.  He was drowning in the fabric, but his cheeks were pink and so Jean assumed he was warm enough.

When Hanji announced they were going to use the lab desks for experiments, Armin volunteered to collect the equipment from the technician's laboratory.  He was gone for less than a minute before Jean reached the unbiased conclusion that Armin couldn't possible carry all those beakers and thermometres himself and hurriedly left the classroom after permission from Hanji.

He fought the impulse to run down the corridor to the laboratory to where Armin was, trying not to let himself get too giddy at the memory of Armin's smiles earlier in the morning.  Had he ever smiled like that at Jean before?  Did he smile like that at everyone, or was Jean actually someone worth bestowing his glorious smiles upon?

Telling himself he was a gushing idiot, Jean rounded the corner and paused in the entrance of the laboratory.  Armin was standing over by the shelves holding stacks of beakers and no one else was in the room.  Jean watched Armin tug the neck of his hoodie up and over his nose and close his eyes, what was visible of his face flushing a faint pink.

_Wait... is he?  ...What?_

Jean gaped, unable to believe his eyes at the unbelievably content look on the other boy's face.  Did Armin... plan this?

"O-oi, Armin..."

His head shot up, eyes wide with panic.  He went red from head to toe as realised Jean was staring at him, equally shocked.  "I... I wasn't..."  Uncharacteristically lost for words, Armin's hands fluttered around his mouth.  Jean supposed he shouldn't have been thinking how adorable the other boy looked when he was mortified but he couldn't help it.

"You know... You can have the real thing if you want."  Jean said, swallowing his own embarrassment as he took a few slow steps forward, shoved his hands in his pockets and gave a casual half shrug in an attempt to look cool.  "'Cause like... I'd like that too."

_Well, if that wasn't the creepiest freaking thing I've ever said I don't know what was._

Armin's stunned silence was unbearable.  Jean couldn't blame him though; it wasn't exactly the sweetest (or clearest) confession ever made.  But at least it followed the trend of this-is-awkward-and-I-wish-I-was-dead.

"Or you know, I could just go away and you'd never have to speak to me ever again.  That's cool too, I could -"

"Jean -"  Armin closed the remaining gap between them.  His hand shot out and took hold of the edge of Jean's tshirt to prevent him from turning away.  Armin then looked away shyly, lifting his free hand to his mouth and mumbling into the too-long sleeve.  "You can... You can keep my hoodie if you want.  But only if I can keep yours."

"...S-Sounds like a good deal."  Jean coughed after a moment of silent shock, intensely aware of Armin's fingertips fiddling with the edge of his shirt just millimetres away from the bare skin of Jean's stomach.  "Is there anything else you want to exchange?"

_Phone number phone number phone number -_

"A k-kiss maybe..."

_Dead.  I'm dead._

Both blushing from head to toe, Jean couldn't tell which of the two of them were more embarrassed.  But Armin had just taken the last step, now it was Jean's turn.  Though he had maybe taken a little too long to respond.

"Or not, you know."  Armin squeaked, his voice shooting up a couple of octaves as he released Jean's tshirt and took a step back.  "That was a really forward thing of me to say, I'm so sorry -"

"Jeez, you're gonna kill me.  I swear you are."  Jean ducked down swiftly, tugging up Armin's hood and giving him a soft lingering kiss on the mouth.  "There's your kiss.  Now, where's mine?"

Nose to nose, Jean could feel the heat rising from Armin's face to scorch his own.  The other boy brought his fingertips to his lips, his eyes wide in surprise and his mouth forming a small 'o'.

"Well?"  Jean whispered, aware that he was holding his breath.

"I... tomorrow."  Armin murmured before abruptly turning away, grabbing a box of beakers and practically fleeing the room, leaving a stunned Jean with nothing but a jar of thermometres and the hurried sound of Armin's footsteps down the corridor.

Torn between giddiness and confusion, Jean opted for the former.

The next morning they met a few minutes before biology, each wearing the other's respective hoodies, and Jean received his kiss.  Then a few more.  Then a lot more.


End file.
